Inanimate Objects

We are often told that it is just stuff. We are told that objects can be replaced. We are told that things mean nothing. In a sense it is true. Objects Can be replaced and will be replaced over time however they do mean something. When we are attached to an object it is not necessarily the object that we are linked to but the memories the object represents.

Yesterday I said goodbye to an object. A beautiful sturdy, gigantic and gorgeous papasan chair. This chair has been a part of my life for nearly 18 years. I am actually feeling sad that it is not in my living room awaiting me. I am sad that it's round form no longer greets me. I am sad I will never sit in it again. You may say it is just a chair but after 18 years it is more than that.

It was an old friend waiting to take the load off a tiring day. It was a  safe place to retire to in the middle of the night when the bed just seemed too far away. It was a sleeping spot for a friend's young child just right for her to curl up and feel comforted. It was a sought after spot when company came as it sat in the perfect place to see and be seen. It was a kissing booth and romantic place to begin or end a passionate embrace. It was more than an object and now it is gone.

I have purchased a new chair. It is completely different from my papasan. A new chance for special memories. A new place to sit and ponder. A new spot to curl up with a good book. A new chance for romance. In time it too will feel familiar but for now it is new. I miss my old friend. Do not judge too harshly all who love an object. Some have a love of material things but others have a heart filled with memories and although they are able to let the object leave when it is time an empty space is left behind.

Entitled to Keep Up

My mother raised me to work hard at whatever I chose to do. A strong work ethic has been instilled in me and my brother. Times were difficult but enough was provided and extras, when they happened, were greatly appreciated. I never expected my mother to buy me a car at graduation because we were not those families you see in movies where that happens. I never expected her to reward my every action with a cash bonus. I was always proud when I received her smile and nod of approval. I grew taller when I heard her friends compliment me as she whispered my achievements to them trying not to boast but obviously wanting to share in the good fortune of her child. It was high praise for her.

 I know that I am not alone in the way I was raised. I often talk to others 7 sometimes 10 years my junior or anyone older than myself who was raised similarly. Unfortunately something has been greatly lost along the way as those who are currently in the 20 something sector seem to have no idea of what it means to “earn your keep”, those in high school think everything is handed over to them without question and those in elementary feel that just showing up deserves a reward. Where does this sense of entitlement come from?

I do not wish to blame everything on television. I have never been that person. I feel you control what enters your realm and you have the ability to influence your world for positive or negative with the actions you have chosen. I do however feel that media does temper your actions for good or for bad whether you choose to admit it or not. Keeping up with the Kardashians can not be having any type of positive effect on society. No reality show actually seems to have any real positive influence for our world.  (I will admit that I have never seen the Kardashian show nor do I watch reality tv but I do sit in rooms where these shows are discussed and based on content feel my claim is valid.)

As far as I can tell most reality shows are about untalented individuals who have no jobs, no skills, little to know education but plenty of time and money to spend on pointless parties, latest fashions and frivolous expenditures. These people are worshipped for their looks and their ability to spend like there is no tomorrow. It would explain greatly why most 20-somethings want money but do not care to work for it, want parents to give it to them and do not understand why they don’t just hand over the gold card and have a great inability to conceive the concept of an honest days work for an honest days pay.

These same individuals are planning futures together. Some of them are even currently raising children in an unrealistic reality where you can have it all. If you watch tv long enough you will encounter an advertisement for Tronix Country. The opening statement of the ad says “Tired of not having the best things in life like a large screen television?”

That right there shows you the mentality of society at the moment. In order to have the best in life you need a materialistic representation. Those of us who have had to deal without know better. Tronix however is doing big business and we are enabling it to happen because we all HAVE to have the latest greatest of everything. The government is trillions of dollars in debt. The youth want money but don’t want to work. The Kardashians are cashing in on us because we are so busy trying to keep up. Where will it all end? http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=2349117563337

A sign of the times

Apparently it is NOT just me many other people feel the same way as I do. This would be a good time to revisit a previous post I call "Belt America".

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The World As It Is

 Every now and again it’s nice to just notice the world around you as it is. I noticed a billboard that said, “We intentionally made this billboard boring so that you pay attention to the road.” Now I know I am quoting it, which means I saw it to read it, but I was walking, looked up and saw it. It was a billboard for gas so I am not the target audience. If they don’t want drivers distracted then how are they going to get new customers?

I noticed a mushroom growing in the hall. I’m not kidding. My building’s main hall had a mushroom growing between the carpet and the wall. It made me laugh but it also scared me to death as that means there’s a fungus among us and mold and mildew must be in the walls. It might explain the rising cost of water.

I noticed that birds intentionally find the cleanest car to aim at. I know because I just washed my car and somehow although it was not under a tree or a lamppost or even overhead hanging wires, I have a lovely splotch across my hood. I think the new shiny wax enables easier target practice.

I noticed the beautiful sunset over the hidden lake as the ducks paddled by and the laughter of party goers filled the night. Everything’s a bit better when shared. IT was most definitely a night worth noticing. I wonder what I will notice next. 

Sidewalk Poop

I love dogs. I really care for pretty much all animals great and small. I have a bird. I've had a few over the years. The ones I've had are low maintenance so they are easy to take care of at all times. I live in an apartment so a bird is better than a dog on that level. I have neighbors with pooches. These pooches I have seen but more often than not I have been made aware of their presence because of poop inappropriate places.

Scoop your poop people. Although the main reason I don't have a dog at the moment is my apartment's policy on that another major factor is I do not wish to be a pet valet. I have no urge to walk behind my canine with plastic bag in hand picking up steaming piles of poop. IF you have purchased a pup however, that IS what YOU  have signed up to do. You chose that life. You knew the responsibilities. You should not subject me and the rest of the world to stepping in something sticky. It is most definitely not neighborly. It's unsightly and unsanitary as well.

People not being responsible for their four legged friend's poop has become such a major epidemic that they are actually doing DNA testing to find the owner of the pile. That's right, you might think you are getting away with it but, you will be tracked down and fined. It's a simple matter people. Pick up the poop or be picked up for not picking up the poop. It's your call.

Driving 101: Turn Signals

 The turn signal is to alert other drivers of your intended direction. If you are indicating you are turning right, the appropriate direction to turn is right. It also works if you indicate left that you should then turn left. Your signal indicating you are turning alerts the other driver that simultaneous turning is appropriate. Don't yell at the driver for nearly turning into your preciously polished Porsche when you were the idiot who indicated you were turning  and then decided to go straight.

If a car in front of you is pulled parallel to parked cars with a signal indicating they are about to park you should not drive up behind it at full speed, honk and yell at them for being in your way as you are the one stupid enough to speed up on a non-moving vehicle which has made it clear that it was waiting to park. In turn cars which are trying to park must visibly warn others of this intent. Sitting perfectly still and then deciding to back up is not proper parking procedure.

Signals should be turned off immediately upon turning in the correct direction as drivers behind you will become greatly annoyed at the fact that you are consistently driving straight and have not changed lanes or  turned for the past 11 blocks. Just because You supposedly know were you want to go doesn't mean the rest of us know. Thus the invention of the turn signal.

Meeting in the Ladies Room

Ladies I call this meeting in order to discuss an incredibly serious matter. It is bad enough that we as women have so few stalls installed in public places but the fact that the ones we have are so filthy is absolutely appalling. Case in point: Saturday night I was waiting for the one available restroom at a local pub. I went in, pulled out the safety cloth that's supposed to protect us from each other's cooties and went to place it on the toilet seat. As I lowered the threadbare sheet I noticed what at first appeared to be a new pattern on the seat. In actuality it was a shoe print;a filthy black tread mark from someone's sneaker.


When I was first taken into a public restroom as a child, my mom told me to take some tissue and clean the seat in case you lost your balance, squat, and clean up after yourself. I really don't remember too much being left on seats or stalls and absolutely no shoe prints ever. What has happened? How did women's restrooms become filthy? As someone who has also worked in a restaurant and been in the men's room I can honestly say overall the men's room is cleaner than the women's room. I do not like being able to say this.


Time after time I have entered a stall and found pee on the seats, unwrapped pads/tampons on top of the garbage (or even on the floor), unflushed toilets, paper stuck to seats.... It's disgusting to find that most  women are actually incapable of using a public toilet. We are supposedly fastidious females. We are greatly missing the mark (and the toilet) when it comes to public peeing. This situation cannot continue. You are not at home. You are in a public place that many others will eventually have to use.


The floor is not a garbage can. Not all toilets automatically flush. It is just common courtesy to wrap your pads/tampons and dispose of them properly. Just because YOU do not have to clean the public restroom it doesn't mean there isn't another human being who won't be subjected to your bloody mess. Think how you would feel having to clean some strangers waste. Please  remember a rhyme we teach children in elementary upon your next visit to a public facility, "If you sprinkle when you tinkle please be neat and wipe the seat."

Digital is not a Book

Okay so I know I am writing a blog. I'm in the blogosphere which is admittedly a wonderful new form of communication, instant gratification, self satisfaction and so on. I will also concede the fact that many new voices have been more easily discovered through this medium. I am grateful it exists. I will never admit however that browsing online and downloading a title into the most convenient plastic covered screen is better than searching the aisles of the bookstore for hidden treasures. I will never admit that digital is better than a book.

As a child I spent my hard earned allowance on flashlights; tiny little plastic flashlights that I hid all over my room. Why? I needed to be able to read in the dark. Every night my mom would come in to check and make sure lights were out. She tucked me in, kissed my forehead and went down the steps to her room. I reached under my pillow, grabbed one of the several books I was reading , flicked on the flashlight and dove back into the wonderful world of the written word. Sometimes I would read until the morning light came through my window. Other times I would read until my mom somehow magically appeared by my side to take the book away and tell me to get some sleep. I however would always read. If I got tired I would curl up with the book content to know that soon I would be able to open the pages and dive right back in to a world ready and waiting for my return.

As I got older, my little brother would sneak into my room after lights out and I would read stories to him. We would both be anxious to see what would happen on the next page. We were so engrossed in the story that we never noticed our mom standing in the doorway waiting to confiscate yet another flashlight. I have a feeling she knew what was going on well before she invaded the room and let us get through the full chapter before sending my brother back to his room and reminding me I had to get up in the morning. She always had a hint of a smile when she said this.

These are treasured childhood memories which would be greatly altered if I were growing up today. The very young children still have storybooks with pictures but the older ones are now being given cold machines to keep them company. No flashlight is needed to read something that lights up. Page turning anticipation has been replaced with a scroll bar. My books kept me company. My books took me traveling across oceans to new lands and new adventures. Revisiting any tale only required the ability to take it down from a shelf. Now a days there seems to be no room for sentimentality. Instead of having a hard or soft covered tale to reread at will, you have an empty shell which you download and dispose the contents. Instead of being able to visit a shelf and browse the titles, you get the pleasure of waiting for it to finish recharging. There are no book jackets, author's pictures, signed copies or first editions in the digital realm.

Many characters on television and in movies have character traits we love and can identify with easily. One character's quirky quality that I adore would be Joey from Friends. He "never starts reading The Shining without having plenty of room in the freezer." When a book scares him or has a moment that he doesn't want to face, he puts it in the freezer. It's a silly tidbit. It's a warm and humanizing one as well. I can recall many occasions when a book has upset me and I've slammed it closed and shoved it away from me only to look at it from afar and slowly go back to it as I just needed to know what happens. I guess the equivalent reaction with a screen is just to turn it off. It just doesn't sound the same. Joey definitely couldn't put it in the freezer.

As we go forward we seem to be leaving a lot behind. The small bookshops are a thing of the past. Most of the conglomerates are gone as well. Self-publishing seems to be the wave of now and possibly tomorrow. It's not the same. I do not begrudge modern technology it's advances I mourn for the loss of simplicity and the beauty in sentimentality of the mere act of reading a book.

Smoke Signals

I was once the only non-smoker at a friend's party. They were nice enough to give me a fan to help me breathe. It was a great night. I came home smelling of smoke. It took a long hot shower and a good hair washing before I couldn't smell it anymore. I didn't mind as I was among friends.


I personally am an avid non-smoker. I am not one of those preachy non-smokers. The warnings have been printed on the labels. The information is available in the doctor's office. It's your body. If you smoke that's all on you. I do have issues with you when it comes to second hand smoke and littering. Some of you are just plain rude.

You have basically been banished from buildings but must you stand in doorways? Do you honestly believe that the rest of us want to walk through a cancer cloud as we enter or exit? We know what you are doing when you are outside a towering office building, looking like a loiterer clinging to the corners of doorways. We try to hold our breaths as we pass through but even that doesn't completely work. The faint smell of cigarettes clings to our clothes. A designated area should be provided for you but until this occurs can you please find a more sensible location for your smoke break?

I have been told by smokers that a good cigarette enhances the dining experience. That may be true for you but the rest of us are eating. If I am outside on a patio I know I am going to be subjected to smokers. I am in what is now pretty much your territory but even still if I have sat far enough away from you that I can inhale freely and you can see that no smoking implements are anywhere near me, please don't get offended if I politely ask you if you could please blow your smoke away from my table. I only do this when it's coming directly at me. I usually try to move first so as not to even have this conversation. Unfortunately, every now and again, it has to be said. I'm not asking you to stop. I'm just asking you to have some consideration.

Then there are those of you who somehow feel that the cigarette butt is not garbage. You fling it out of car windows onto oily streets. You casually drop it on sidewalks, down storm drains in planters and on the beach. Those of you who attempt to throw it in the garbage don't seem to care if it misses as I often see them lying just beside the bin. They are disgusting remnants of your habit. It may be small but it is still trash. Small children and animals pick up everything. Smoldering cigarette butts have caught random items on fire. If you don't want it in your car, then why do you think the rest of us want it either?

I Hate the Jonas Brothers

I am going to say it. "I HATE the Jonas Brothers" I am very glad the Jonas Brothers in 3D movie did not do as well as they expected as it reassures me that the general public's taste has not gone so far off the deep end as I originally believed. I cannot fathom how this off-key, formulaic, blandafied sound is considered good. I feel bad for Hanson now. I was never a fan but, Hanson's music had more substance to it than this and we mocked them terribly.

The Jonas Brothers top a list that is steadily growing. This list contains many individuals who were in the right place at the right time and are now somehow "stars". Beyonce, for example, is everywhere. She is a talented young lady but she is NOT as talented as the masses would like us to believe. She is Not a great actress. She is not that fantastic of a dancer. She does Not have the best sense when it comes to fashion ( well when it comes to her mom's fashions. Say NO mom. You're an Adult it's ok) Pop music is her strength. She has great catchy songs that are perfect for your work out or dancing. She had NO business whatsoever singing "At Last". Her voice does not carry it off. If she can sustain a lifelong career like Etta James and Tina Turner (who were smart enough to stick with their strengths) then we won't mind seeing her everywhere but for now let's say we've had enough Beyonce.

Let's stop the madness now. No more formulaic entertainment. Just because the radios are playing it every three hours doesn't mean it's actually good. "Mmm bop, ba duba dop, In an mmmm bop they're gone."