Would You Like a Ride?

"Would you like a ride?" If that question comes from a friend then the answer could be yes or no but the question would always be acceptable. Usually I personally have heard that question from strangers. To be more specific I have heard that question from strange men as I make my way either to a favorite venue so close I don't need a car or back to my humble abode. Apparently a woman walking automatically means she needs a lift that won't necessarily take her to her final destination.

I know that there are kindhearted and generous souls to be found across the globe. I know that danger isn't always lurking behind every corner. I know that people are capable of generous deeds. I know that I do not live in Utopia and that when I am suspicious of the man offering me a ride I have every right to be so.  It amazes me that the men seem offended that I, as a single woman walking down the street minding her own business, will not blindly take this coveted treat without hesitation.

It is sad that we no longer live in a time where we could readily accept what could be an innocent offer to assistant someone struggling with packages. It is sad that the hidden meaning of words is what we look for and the words themselves have been lost. It is sad that most of the time "Would you like a ride?" has nothing to do with the vehicle in question. I see the look in your eyes when you ask.You aren't fooling me with your question. I know better than to accept your offer. However, to the men with no ulterior motive, I say, "No, but thanks for asking."

Inanimate Objects

We are often told that it is just stuff. We are told that objects can be replaced. We are told that things mean nothing. In a sense it is true. Objects Can be replaced and will be replaced over time however they do mean something. When we are attached to an object it is not necessarily the object that we are linked to but the memories the object represents.

Yesterday I said goodbye to an object. A beautiful sturdy, gigantic and gorgeous papasan chair. This chair has been a part of my life for nearly 18 years. I am actually feeling sad that it is not in my living room awaiting me. I am sad that it's round form no longer greets me. I am sad I will never sit in it again. You may say it is just a chair but after 18 years it is more than that.

It was an old friend waiting to take the load off a tiring day. It was a  safe place to retire to in the middle of the night when the bed just seemed too far away. It was a sleeping spot for a friend's young child just right for her to curl up and feel comforted. It was a sought after spot when company came as it sat in the perfect place to see and be seen. It was a kissing booth and romantic place to begin or end a passionate embrace. It was more than an object and now it is gone.

I have purchased a new chair. It is completely different from my papasan. A new chance for special memories. A new place to sit and ponder. A new spot to curl up with a good book. A new chance for romance. In time it too will feel familiar but for now it is new. I miss my old friend. Do not judge too harshly all who love an object. Some have a love of material things but others have a heart filled with memories and although they are able to let the object leave when it is time an empty space is left behind.

Happy Halloween

No one knows that the Irish are responsible for Halloween. No one has a clue about the connection of the   Vigil of Samhain  and All Saints Day. We do know that there are tricks to be played and candy to be had on Halloween. I for one am thankful for the holiday not for the candy (although it is yummy) or the tricks (although they are fun) but for the opportunity to freely express, as an adult, the pure joy of dressing in a costume.


As an adult there are few opportunities for artistic expression allowed to us. If you act you can pretend to be anyone and it's ok but if your a typical worker bee you have no such luxury. Teachers have a bit more wiggle room. I would love to be as free as a small child and decide today I will wear all my favorite colors, today I am a super hero, today I am a princess or Today I am magical. IF I left the house dressed as a masquerade ball attendee just to go to work, someone would stop me for fear I might harm myself or others. Why is it so wrong to walk around in multi-colored wigs and a pair of tattered wings? Halloween makes it all good. 


To me, the opportunity to express some inner identities without fear of disparaging words is worth the 364 day wait between moments in time. I can feel free to be all the me I can be and I can do so as much as I want and say "It's Halloween". People smile at your creativity. People applaud your innovation. People are just people on this day. We laugh, we scare, we wonder and we relive the innocence of youth. I wish it could be Halloween at least once a month. I wish their were more opportunities for us to dress up but for now, I am appreciative of the fact that there is Halloween. 


Happy Happy Halloween to all the Children but even more to all the Inner Children of Halloween-Loving Adults!!!!!!

Holiday Express

It happened again. I was walking down an aisle at the pharmacy minding my own business and I ran smack dab into the center of Christmas. I did a double take. Why am I being bombarded with trees, cards, stockings and all the other guilt (gelt) of the Holidays to come I wondered?  Last time I checked a calendar it was still about a week til Halloween. Is this an overly Christmas"y" version of The Nightmare Before Christmas? I hoped, but knew it was not.


Under the best of circumstances no one is prepared for the onslaught of forced holiday cheer that December unleashes upon the masses. When you are bombarded with the sales of the season before the season officially begins, it makes it all the worse to bear. A nice break between each holiday would allow us the opportunity to properly prepare and perhaps even enjoy the thought of shopping til we drop for those we love dearly.

Unfortunately, every year it seems the stores get worse. Costco actually started Christmas deals at the beginning of October. The malls as a whole are beginning to decorate store windows in their finest holiday outlooks. Thrift Sores and even the bargain stores ( 99cent store, Ross, Tuesday Morning) are starting early to get you in on last year's deals before you get in on this year's deals. This Sucks! I hate being rushed through my holidays. Halloween for ME is the most wonderful time of the year and I refuse to share it with Santa, a tree, reindeer or any wise men unless they are walking the streets of West Hollywood on All Hallows Eve.

 It appears that only one major chain realizes the folly of this  over zealous sales tactic. That store, believe it or not, would be Nordstroms.  They believe each holiday deserves a proper moment in time to be enjoyed rather than exploited. They do not put up any Christmas items until the day after Thanksgiving. I applaud their sensibility and wish other stores were as pragmatic in their thinking.

Excuse me M'am

     When did I go from being a Miss to being a M'am? I don't remember advertising to the masses. I don't remember rescinding my Miss title and yet more and more M'am keeps creeping into polite conversation when strangers address me.

     "Give the book to the nice lady." said the mom to the child. I looked around to discover the nice lady was ME! "Are you a grown up?" asked the eight year old child confused by my overalls, backwards baseball cap, sneakers and chewing gum. "Technically I am." My answer confused her more.

     Am I a grown up? Good question. I have a driver's license which first graced my wallet at the tender age of 27. Explaining that it's your first license at the DMV is less than amusing.Responding to people with the words "I had no desire to drive," just fell on deaf ears and blank stares.

     Am I a grown up? I've lived in my own apartment for well past a decade. All the bills are in my name. I'm employed;some would say I have a career. I can stay out as long as I like and have no one to report to when I get home at night.

     Am I a grown up? I watch Saturday morning cartoons. I play kickball with the kids at school. I dance without being afraid of looking like a fool. I laugh out loud in public and declare tickle wars on my friends. I mix my sodas. I still drink Slurpees. I eat chocolate for dinner.

    Inside I am a miss. I still get called miss but not as often as once upon a time.  Am I a grown up? Again I say, good question. Technically I am. I can accept that I am a grown up; But I am still NOT a M'am!

Entitled to Keep Up

My mother raised me to work hard at whatever I chose to do. A strong work ethic has been instilled in me and my brother. Times were difficult but enough was provided and extras, when they happened, were greatly appreciated. I never expected my mother to buy me a car at graduation because we were not those families you see in movies where that happens. I never expected her to reward my every action with a cash bonus. I was always proud when I received her smile and nod of approval. I grew taller when I heard her friends compliment me as she whispered my achievements to them trying not to boast but obviously wanting to share in the good fortune of her child. It was high praise for her.

 I know that I am not alone in the way I was raised. I often talk to others 7 sometimes 10 years my junior or anyone older than myself who was raised similarly. Unfortunately something has been greatly lost along the way as those who are currently in the 20 something sector seem to have no idea of what it means to “earn your keep”, those in high school think everything is handed over to them without question and those in elementary feel that just showing up deserves a reward. Where does this sense of entitlement come from?

I do not wish to blame everything on television. I have never been that person. I feel you control what enters your realm and you have the ability to influence your world for positive or negative with the actions you have chosen. I do however feel that media does temper your actions for good or for bad whether you choose to admit it or not. Keeping up with the Kardashians can not be having any type of positive effect on society. No reality show actually seems to have any real positive influence for our world.  (I will admit that I have never seen the Kardashian show nor do I watch reality tv but I do sit in rooms where these shows are discussed and based on content feel my claim is valid.)

As far as I can tell most reality shows are about untalented individuals who have no jobs, no skills, little to know education but plenty of time and money to spend on pointless parties, latest fashions and frivolous expenditures. These people are worshipped for their looks and their ability to spend like there is no tomorrow. It would explain greatly why most 20-somethings want money but do not care to work for it, want parents to give it to them and do not understand why they don’t just hand over the gold card and have a great inability to conceive the concept of an honest days work for an honest days pay.

These same individuals are planning futures together. Some of them are even currently raising children in an unrealistic reality where you can have it all. If you watch tv long enough you will encounter an advertisement for Tronix Country. The opening statement of the ad says “Tired of not having the best things in life like a large screen television?”

That right there shows you the mentality of society at the moment. In order to have the best in life you need a materialistic representation. Those of us who have had to deal without know better. Tronix however is doing big business and we are enabling it to happen because we all HAVE to have the latest greatest of everything. The government is trillions of dollars in debt. The youth want money but don’t want to work. The Kardashians are cashing in on us because we are so busy trying to keep up. Where will it all end? http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=2349117563337

A sign of the times

Apparently it is NOT just me many other people feel the same way as I do. This would be a good time to revisit a previous post I call "Belt America".

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