Monday, July 30, 2012

ONCE UPON A TIME I WAS A GIRL




The sky was blue the fields were green and I was eating ice cream. The scent of roses filled the air and I was soaring with it I saw a woman standing on a corner all alone
So I walked over to talk to her and maybe help her home
She looked at me and smiled a memory in her eyes she said,

“Darling child, I am home. At least as close as I will get.”
I didn’t understand her but she didn’t seem to mind
She asked me to stay with her and help to ease her mind.

“Once upon a time I was a girl.” She said
“A long, long time ago. But now I’m just an old woman.
A woman who wants to know: From where does the rainbow shine?
Where do falling stars go? But most of all where does all the time go?
Where does it go?” I didn’t understand her questions At least I didn’t then.
But now as  I sit here alone in the park and watch the children play, somewhere in the recesses of my mind I hear the answers to here questions. At least I think I do.

Colors seem to come out of your mind. Rainbows are just thoughts all in line. Falling stars I’ve seen them on the shore then just grains of sand and nothing more. I still wonder where all the time goes. I don’t think I’ll ever know. But once upon a time I was a girl. Yes, once upon a time I was a girl.

Monday, July 23, 2012

Intertwined Anomalies

Today, as I walked to the store surrounded by such diverse elements in such a minute amount of space, I was struck by the numerous incongruous yet intertwined anomalies of my everyday life. I saw a hummingbird as I passed by the man lying in filthy clothes by the dentist's office. I saw three off-white butterflies clustered around the bushes of the sterile apartment complex as children ran around in the yard of the run down house across the way. I saw gifts left by the dogs of inconsiderate neighbors next to the shiny cars on the street. I heard the beautiful music through the door of the Indian shop and the awful news of Colorado from various televisions, blaring through the open windows of the surrounding buildings. How is it that all of these elements coexist? How can such tiny spots of beauty be marred by ever increasing amounts of  neglect, filth and violence?

Most of us try to do our part to keep the world clean or make it a better place and yet why does it seem that more and more there are less of us doing exactly that? Wild animals are losing their habitats and lives because of us. Civilized individuals are turning out to be less civil than we thought. A lack of respect for ourselves and others seems to be running rampant. A world where we are seemingly more comfortable with all things violent and no things naked seems be where we reside. Why? How is it that the children I teach will tell me  about video games,  movies and toys that destroy but make faces, flinch and say "Ewww" if they glimpse a picture of a naked body? How did we get here? Is this going to get better or worse? When will it begin to change? Who knows.



Monday, July 16, 2012

Ever have that feeling?

Ever have that feeling that there's no possible way that anyone else could think, feel, understand, appreciate...what you are going through? I do. Ultimately there are relatively few situations where that emotion actually applies.

Love them or hate them, family can be the answer.  It is actually good to know that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree and that the branches are connected to the other nuts in your clan. It is fun to see familiar expressions or realize that everyone likes the same song or hates the same foods. It is nice to know there is a bond, a connection, alink to a common thread.

Being with family brings out the best and worst of each family member but what you have to understand is that in each of those blood related people is a little DNA strand that's a lot like yours. Too many of those strands in one place can lead to volcanic eruptions to put Vesuvious to shame but it can also lead to good food, music, laughter, untold and retold stories, new stories and precious memories. Here's to family.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

General Discontent

"I have a general discontent about everything right now." That is a direct quote from a journal entry written by me several years ago. Nothing was wrong but not everything was right. Sometimes it's not depression but a general discontent which brings us down.It's a feeling that doesn't settle well as we feel embarrassed having it. I mean, if you are employed, eating, with clothes on your back and shelter then what right do you have not feeling well right? Wrong.

These are the moments in life when we are spinning our wheels trying to discover the next path to enlightenment. These are the moments in between the worry and strife which are a common part of life. These are the moments that can lead to a serious depression if we don't "snap out of it" as we are often told to do. Nothing is wrong but it's not quite right and that's just fine.

The mean reds or the blues; The doldrums or the dumps; Melancholy or moody, whatever you call it, it takes hard work and patience and sometimes professional help to get out of this state of mind and into the next. Sometimes it's a passing moment and at others it's a lingering phase. Eventually you come back to you and often times a better than before you. Before long your smile will return but, no matter what, you have a right to have one of those days.

Monday, July 2, 2012

July Jubilation

Is it just me or has anyone else noticed that 2012 seems to be moving at warp speed? Seriously it's already the 2nd of July. How on earth did we get here so soon? I am not sure I an ready to have the days disappear on me already. Anyhow, it is July and those of us on the west coast should rejoice in the super summer weather and Wednesday's upcoming holiday. Officially it's American Independence Day but we just lazily say Happy 4th July. I am looking forward to the leisure activities allotted to us on this day. Burgers, Dogs and Fireworks;it's a gastronomic menagerie of simple tasty foods, good company for those at parties and loud, colorful fireworks to end the evening. I am grateful that I live here with the privileges that many of my fellow patriots take for granted. HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!