Saturday, March 28, 2009

Earth Hour

Tonight the world celebrates the earth by turning out the lights. I normally try to turn off lights in the rooms that are not being used but it's ever so easy to forget. It's amazing how well lit my apartment is by the tap light. I've not only turned off the lights but the television as well. I think this hour should be a monthly event. We all soon forget the difference a day makes when the day happens but once a year.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Smoke Signals

I was once the only non-smoker at a friend's party. They were nice enough to give me a fan to help me breathe. It was a great night. I came home smelling of smoke. It took a long hot shower and a good hair washing before I couldn't smell it anymore. I didn't mind as I was among friends.

I personally am an avid non-smoker. I am not one of those preachy non-smokers. The warnings have been printed on the labels. The information is available in the doctor's office. It's your body. If you smoke that's all on you. I do have issues with you when it comes to second hand smoke and littering. Some of you are just plain rude.

You have basically been banished from buildings but must you stand in doorways? Do you honestly believe that the rest of us want to walk through a cancer cloud as we enter or exit? We know what you are doing when you are outside a towering office building, looking like a loiterer clinging to the corners of doorways. We try to hold our breaths as we pass through but even that doesn't completely work. The faint smell of cigarettes clings to our clothes. A designated area should be provided for you but until this occurs can you please find a more sensible location for your smoke break?

I have been told by smokers that a good cigarette enhances the dining experience. That may be true for you but the rest of us are eating. If I am outside on a patio I know I am going to be subjected to smokers. I am in what is now pretty much your territory but even still if I have sat far enough away from you that I can inhale freely and you can see that no smoking implements are anywhere near me, please don't get offended if I politely ask you if you could please blow your smoke away from my table. I only do this when it's coming directly at me. I usually try to move first so as not to even have this conversation. Unfortunately, every now and again, it has to be said. I'm not asking you to stop. I'm just asking you to have some consideration.

Then there are those of you who somehow feel that the cigarette butt is not garbage. You fling it out of car windows onto oily streets. You casually drop it on sidewalks, down storm drains in planters and on the beach. Those of you who attempt to throw it in the garbage don't seem to care if it misses as I often see them lying just beside the bin. They are disgusting remnants of your habit. It may be small but it is still trash. Small children and animals pick up everything. Smoldering cigarette butts have caught random items on fire. If you don't want it in your car, then why do you think the rest of us want it either?

Friday, March 6, 2009

Belt America

Ladies and Gentleman over the last decade a great error has occurred in the fashion world. It would appear that the mass manufacture of belts has ceased to exist. This crisis seems to be in both the men's and women's clothing departments. The belt is a lovely accesory worn around the waist of pants and some skirts. I would urge the garment industry to please, please, please bring back the belt designed to go inside the belt loops in order to stop the unsightliness of thongs and boxers.

Once these belts are back I would appreciate it greatly if people would wear them. I mean Appropriately wear them. This means introduce the waist of your pants to the waist on your body. Insert the belt into the belt loops and then cinch the belt so that it keeps the pants up and at waist level. If you are unfamiliar with your waist, that is the area right under, right on or right above your belly button. Pick a place that will cover your underwear and belt it there.

Gentlemen, I am very tired of looking at your under garments. If I don't know you on an intimate level then I should not be that familiar with your underthings. Let's face it NO ONE looks good with their pants hanging down (except possibly Marky Mark but only in his poster). This fad was awful from the onset and based on prisoners being unable to wear belts. Why are we accepting and in some cases encouraging this trend? You look stupid riding your skateboards holding up baggy pants so they stay out of your way. You look stupid trying to walk down the street and hold your pants up at the same time. You look stupid walking with over sized pants belted under your butt to keep them up. You just look stupid.

Ladies, your thong does not turn me on. Chances are the man you are attracting because you have taken to heart the silliness of "The Crack is the new Cleavage" is Not the man you want.
If you don't have a full length mirror to show you what the thong actually looks like hanging over the top of your pants I would suggest investing in one. It's a string that cuts off your flesh. Even you ladies with super sexy bodies aren't exempt from the flesh roll above the string on your thong (although you do have a great deal less flesh). After we get the flesh roll we see a random tiny patch of cloth. It's just sitting there. It looks ridiculous. It makes you look cheap and tacky. When you squat or sit we then get to see your crack (oh joy). My friend feels that you are fair game to have things thrown into that crack cleavage. Beware, she has great aim.

Ladies and Gentlemen Please stop subjecting us to what lies beneath your clothes. Underwear means to wear under something. Let's go back to that definition. The time to pull up your pants is now.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

I Hate the Jonas Brothers

I am going to say it. "I HATE the Jonas Brothers" I am very glad the Jonas Brothers in 3D movie did not do as well as they expected as it reassures me that the general public's taste has not gone so far off the deep end as I originally believed. I cannot fathom how this off-key, formulaic, blandafied sound is considered good. I feel bad for Hanson now. I was never a fan but, Hanson's music had more substance to it than this and we mocked them terribly.

The Jonas Brothers top a list that is steadily growing. This list contains many individuals who were in the right place at the right time and are now somehow "stars". Beyonce, for example, is everywhere. She is a talented young lady but she is NOT as talented as the masses would like us to believe. She is Not a great actress. She is not that fantastic of a dancer. She does Not have the best sense when it comes to fashion ( well when it comes to her mom's fashions. Say NO mom. You're an Adult it's ok) Pop music is her strength. She has great catchy songs that are perfect for your work out or dancing. She had NO business whatsoever singing "At Last". Her voice does not carry it off. If she can sustain a lifelong career like Etta James and Tina Turner (who were smart enough to stick with their strengths) then we won't mind seeing her everywhere but for now let's say we've had enough Beyonce.

Let's stop the madness now. No more formulaic entertainment. Just because the radios are playing it every three hours doesn't mean it's actually good. "Mmm bop, ba duba dop, In an mmmm bop they're gone."


Hello and Welcome to Madnaloy Moments. As one of the many opinionated people with a computer and some extra time on her hands I felt like it was time to share my ideas, innovations, revelations, complaints (numerous complaints) and whatever else with the masses.
Enjoy ;-)