Going from ME to WE

Okay, this relationship thing is interesting. I mean you meet someone. You build a friendship. You learn each other's quirks. You try to make all the idiosyncrasies work. It's a process. It is amazing how at some unknown point during the courtship you start saying we and us as opposed to I and me. How did I go from me to we?

I am not even sure when it started. All I know is that all of a sudden (maybe not as suddenly as I believe) I am referring to my place as home for the two of us, we check the calendar to see where we can fit in new events and when invited to places I am now saying we might have plans let me check. When did this happen? I mean we've barely crossed over the one year mark and yet I am certain this "we" thing happened well before that.

Part of me greatly enjoys the fact that I have a significant other who I need to consult to make sure we have nothing on the agenda, however my fiercely independent side is not on board with the program. She is beside herself with annoyance at constantly having to pull out the calendar to see if something else is there. She misses just saying yes to something and doing whatever, whenever she pleased.

I think it is a fear of losing oneself in another. I have nothing to fear as I do enough on my own to not  let that happen but the "what if" creeps in now and again to throw it's nonsense into the mix. "What if I am doing too many of his things", "What if I don't get to see my friends enough or anymore", "What if I am making him do too many of my events", "What if we are just humoring each other and none of this seemingly great compromise is real". The "What If" monster lurks around  hoping to cause a ripple in the delicate balance of the new formed we. Fighting it is a hard task but it can be done.

I have learned the fine art of compromise. I have always been able to stand firm and say NO if I mean No but I now say it in a way that doesn't feel as if I am laying down the law as opposed to just expressing disinterest. I have learned that no matter how my independent side argues against too much us, she is sad when the other half of we isn't about. I still greatly enjoy my me but I am now growing comfortable with we.