Adventures in the Land of We

     It's amazing how quickly a world can change. My neighbors all ask me about my other half. How is he, where is he, who is he (boyfriend, fiance, husband) are now commonplace questions. It's as if I am now no longer allowed to be me. I am a "we" and must be in close proximity of my other half at all times. It fascinates me that this identity shift occurs. It's amazing how a couple just slips into this because everyone around them guides them along the way. It concerns me that this very public acknowledgment makes it so difficult to be a single entity. I am a bit miffed that my me-ness has been usurped by the we of us.  Don't get me wrong, the we of us makes me happy but the me in me is fighting to maintain her identity.

     The other evening, I made meatloaf. He washed dishes. I did some work and then we took a walk in the neighborhood stopping off at the store to buy rice milk before returning home. Once home I made tea. We drank it while watching the news and then drifted off to the land of dreams. Living in domesticity is a very different reality. I like it's simplicity. I enjoy having a partner in crime. It's been four months and he is still alive. I think I like him and this is definitely a beautiful thing. Having someone who can join in your crazy or appreciate it in all its glory is key to maintaining a healthy relationship. Here's to my crazy we. I guess sometimes it really isn't all about me.

Nostalgia TV

There's COZI TV, This TV, Antenna TV and Me TV among many other channels dedicated to the programs of my and my parent's childhood. It's good stuff. Many of the stories still hold up. Seeing a time capsule of clothes and cars makes you remember how far we have come from that time and how far we still have to go. What's amazing about these channels is the fact that even the "violence" of the time is more peaceful than anything you see today. I like not being stressed out by my television. I miss the simpler shows dedicated to actual acting and scripts filled with information. I am obviously not alone as more and more of these time warp television stations are popping up.

I think today's audience needs a good does of nostalgia but made of course from their current stars as they have no connection to mine. We need to bring back Battle of the Network Stars and Circus of the Stars. We need to bring back some ABC after school specials and the timeless teaching tool of School House Rock. No fluff. No CGI. Minimal green screen. More script less fluff. Nostalgia TV is the place to be.

Looking forward to a brighter tomorrow

I am hoping that from this point forward all the promises of a bright and shiny new year can began to come to fruition. Without going into specifics it amazes me how cruel we can be to one another. It amazes me how one individual can feel so far superior to another. It amazes me how one person can greatly negatively affect the life of someone who has done nothing but be loving and kind. It is hard to be an on-looker in a situation which doesn't directly involve you. It is hard to see a loved one be so tormented. Anyone who has experienced a similar situation knows how helpless it feels when yu can't just make the nightmare go away.

Letting go of individuals that add nothing positive to your reality is not giving up. It is learning to live for yourself which is perfectly all right to do. There's a difference between being nice and being passive. You always have the right to stand up for yourself and you should never feel that your "niceness" will be called in to question if you do. Might does not equal right and nice is not synonymous with weak. We truly do have to learn to listen to one another and treat each other with more common courtesy, empathy and respect.

Anti Resolution Pro productive change

My definition of Resolution for this time of year is " a well intended statement of a course of action for your life that usually ends in rationalizing why you didn't do what you said you would do."

At the end of every year many of us feel pressured to make the next year better than the last. We are asked in matter of fact tones about our resolutions. We are meant to have an answer to this question. My answer isn't what most expect. I am not a fan of this resolution concept. It's too much to expect of a new year to bring you all that you weren't able to accomplish in the last one. If we didn't lose those 5 pounds, find that great love, get that new job, clean out that closet, go to the gym or turn a hobby into a career last year then what will make this year any different? Oh I will make a resolution and it will magically change, not likely.

Pick something you can change and change it. Make a goal for the week and do it. Little by little, step by step actually makes a difference. Change isn't always a sudden shift. Change is usually a slow process occurring  over a great period of time. It took you a n umber of months/years to put on a few pounds and it will take just as long to make them disappear. You've been stuck in the same place for a reason. Figure out why and then actively do something to make what you want to happen happen. It sounds simple. It isn't. It is work. All of it is work. You can say anything you like but if the work isn't put in then it is pointless.

This year. Be good to yourself. This year be true to yourself. This year love yourself more, criticize yourself less and remember to breathe. Don't expect so much and then maybe, just maybe you will finds more than you ever knew possible. We all can be a bit better than we are but we also can only change so far. Find your place and make it happen. Happy New Year!